I recently have felt depleted and have found myself wondering what I can change in my life to feel more fulfilled.  It is very easy for me to tell anyone off the street what it is I need to feel good and strong and happy.  The problem is that I didn’t know how to make room in my life.  I love being a mom and a wife.  I just forgot how to be just Heather.  How silly does that sound?  I guess it is not that silly because I know it has happened to many moms.  Many types of caregivers give and give until one day they look up and don’t recognize themselves in the mirror.  Scary isn’t it?  Have you found yourself in this position?  I guess recognizing the emptiness is the first step…right?

Life is a journey…no one ever said you had to have it all figured out before you reach the destination.  Why do we still feel that we should?  Are we so afraid to admit to others that we really don’t have it all together all the time?

My hopes of sharing and being completely honest with myself and the people that read my blog that I can touch others that are probably going through similar situations.  I must say I have almost everything I could ever want in life…I just need to take care of me more.  I have found that when I have a shower, shaved legs and a fresh face of make-up on I am a better mom.  My attitude is better..I smile more and I have more confidence.  I feel so much better when I eat nutritiously and regularly.  My energy is more constant and I don’t have near as many highs and lows.  My body is desperately craving exercise.  I hardly ever sit down..yet I need core strength training, weight loss and toning. 

 In knowing all of this, I am going to make some slight changes to my life.  For starters, I am going to shower when the baby takes his nap.   No matter how much laundry or dishes I could be cleaning.   Secondly,  I started nighttime jogging.  As soon as the children go to bed.  It takes priority over anything else.  It helped clear my mind, recharge my batteries, time in prayer and meditation, time for processing the day and much more.  I instantly felt empowered.  I am amazed what a difference so far these changes have made in my life.  My question to my readers is who is going to join me in this journey?  The journey of taking care of you.  It may be as simple as sitting down to drink a cup of coffee.  I would love to hear from you.  I would love to hear how you find time to  feel like you in the midst of being a mom 24/7.   Hopefully we can join together so we don’t feel so alone.

It’s just little old me waking up and starting to feel alive and inspired again.
It  is so ironic that I finally, this morning, felt like putting my thoughts into words to share my ideas on facing challenges; I came across so many road blocks in order to begin blogging.

God definitely has a sense of humor.  My topic is approaching life’s challenges…I finally had a moment of peace and all the stars were in line.  I sat down and couldn’t pull up my site for a few minutes. I have to admit, I wanted to scream! Why does everything have to be so hard and complicated?  Instead, I took a deep breath and laughed. Then I was ready to log on and for a moment couldn’t quite remember my password.  It really has been that long.

Life has been crazy and challenging lately.  I have felt a little stuck, like my shift button on my laptop that I spilled half the bottle of my son’s antibiotics on.  To be thoroughly honest I didn’t feel like putting it into words and making it real.  I haven’t been getting much sleep lately and it is so hard to be inspired when you are sooo tired.  I am shaking it off and taking my own advice.  Which leads us into today’s topic.

Have you ever seen a child learn to walk?  Have you seen how many times they fall down and get right back up again?  Have you seen the determination in their eyes as they take one, two, three steps all by themselves?  It is amazing!  It puts life into perspective very quickly.  I wonder… what if we approached life’s challenges the way that a toddler learns how to walk? Would we be more successful?  I personally believe we would accomplish our goals so much more efficiently and effectively if we were so determined.  A small child breaks it into stages…rolling over, sitting up, rocking on the knees, crawling, pulling up and standing around furniture, and then leading to taking that first step that will change their life.  If we simplified our mountains and broke them into small pieces to bite off and chew we probably would get a lot more accomplished.

So, my hope for anyone that reads this is that you approach your mountains from a child’s perspective and when you fall down you get right back up again.

To all parents out there that allow their children to have a little screen time with Max and Ruby.

Warning!

Too much television viewing of Max and Ruby can lead to one word sentences.  Just goes to show how influential our children are with everything they hear, see and touch.  The good news is that the syndrome is reversible.  Below are the steps to the cure.  Follow very carefully.

Step one:  Turn off the TV. Stop frantically cleaning the house that really never looks clean anyway.

Step two: Sit down with your child.  Don’t answer the phone if it rings or switch over the laundry. Resist the temptation.

Step three:  Be in the now. Read a book to your child. Do a puzzle together. Draw or do some kind of project.  It can be that simple.  Quality time vs. quantity.  Listen to your children…they speak the truth.

Take time with your children because they grow up so fast.  Be aware of the Max Syndrome it can sneak up on you.

1. It helps to boost your immune system.

2. It helps decrease stress.

3. It can promote better sleeping.

4. It helps relieve tension from your muscles.

5. It releases toxins from your system.

6. It helps relieve soreness from the muscles after exercising.

7.  It promotes overall better health connecting the mind, body and spirit.

8.  It is time that is set aside only for you.  We must first take care of ourselves in order to care for others.

9.  It puts you more in tune with your body and how it is feeling.

10.   Most of all,  it feels good.

In all its beauty, let life flow. In its quiet stillness, let peace envelop you.
There is much you can accomplish when you focus on the positive possibilities. There is a whole universe to experience when you open your eyes to the wonder.
There is so much love within you. Allow it to come out.
There are so many good and positive things that you can do.
Fill this moment with the best of them.
Let the goodness flow in and fill you. Then let it flow out from you with your own special essence.
With calm, peaceful, loving confidence, let life flow in you and through you. Live the real treasure that is now.

Ralph Marston

How many times do we find ourselves just going through the motions of life?  We become numb and walk around like zombies or even as if we are invisable.   We are ticking time bombs…poof…we disappear.  We are overwhelmed with what life has placed before us.

Have you ever smiled at someone and they look at you with a blank stare, not even acknowledging that you looked at them?  I always wonder what brings a person to that point in their life.  What events led up to that day?  What is troubling them so deeply they are barely breathing?

Then you meet someone that seems to have such a passion for life.  They have a glow about them.  A little bounce when they walk.  Their posture is tall and strong; they hold their head high.  They have a certain presence  that draws people to them.  You want to spend time with them.  They are the type of people that stop to help strangers.  Then you learn more about them and find out they have either had a tragedy occur in their life, or just living a very ordinary simple existence.  You wonder what makes them tick.  What drives them to wake up in the morning with a smile?  What fufills them?

Live a life of purpose.  Challenge yourself.  Do things you have never done before even though it makes your stomach crawl up into your throat…your heart pound…and your palms sweat.  This may not mean sky diving is for you.  It may be as simple as making a phone call, sitting with someone different at the lunch table…going against what everyone else is doing.  It hopefully means something different to everyone.  Surround yourself with good positive, life loving people.  Jump into nature.  There is something about being outside amongst the big open sky to clear your thoughts, open your mind to new things and charge your batteries. Listen to the stillness  when you are out in the woods -  the whispers of God speaking to you.  This is the only part of hunting and fishing I really understand.   Work up a sweat.  There are many chemical reactions and hormone releases when you break out and really sweat.  Whether it be the best sex you have ever had or the best marathon you have ever competed in - it changes you.   Cherish your days…we don’t know how many we have.  If your funeral was today…what would people say about you?  How would you be remembered?

Dance

as though no one is watching you,

Love

as though you have never been hurt before,

Sing

as though no one can hear you,

Live

as though heaven is on earth. -author unknown

Our world is a gift and we are responsible for taking good care of it. What does that mean? How?  Should we attempt to recycle everything?  Should we have a compost in the backyard?  Are we using energy saving light bulbs?  Should I wash all my laundry in cold water?  Should I feel guilty for not using cloth diapers?  Do I need to take all of my batteries to Best Buy to be recycled?  All of this “Going Green” stuff can be very overwhelming to the average person.  I don’t consider myself an expert by any means, but I do feel that I have a pretty good awareness of starting to take good care of the world in which we live.

First and foremost,  remember that one person can make a difference.  Try not to be overwhelmed by trying to do everything. Remember little hinges swing big doors.   Start out small.  For instance, maybe starting to recycle your glass and plastic is a good beginning place for you.  Maybe purchasing and using reusable bags at the grocery store is a great way to start.  Taking your newspapers to be recycled.  Changing your toilet and shower head to reduce the amount of water it uses with one flush.  Shop at consignment shops more and donate more things like toys, household products, clothing to people in need or a good organization that will resell them for you.   When you take a walk how about taking a small trash bag along to pick up litter along the way.   When traveling do you consider whether it is cost and fuel effective to run your errands?  Overwhelmed already?  Start with one thing…I am very interested in how you make a difference in this world and the little green things you do everyday to take care of our world.   Please comment.   Maybe we can learn from each other and work together in this great big world we share.  Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Every woman has certain needs. Some women are very aware and free to admit to anyone and everyone they come in contact with that they demand all of the above. In society or according to most men these women are considered high maintenance. Then there are women that believe their men should know exactly what it is they need and when they need it…without ever telling them their expectations…only to find out they don’t even know what it is they really want. They usually are very disappointed at the end of the day and lost and confused.   These women are considered insecure.  There are also women that believe within themselves all they deserve in life down to every detail. They paint elegant pictures in their mind of the perfection their life and the world around them should hold.  They are dreamers.  They believe and see the good in all mankind.  They have high expectations for themselves, others around them and the world in which we live.   This describes the woman inside of me.

The woman inside of me is strong, intelligent and on fire with life.  I believe deep down inside of me I know exactly what I want in my life. I am confident and secure within my own body and my bucket list has already been written by age 30. I am a control freak.   I would rather do something myself than rely on someone else to do it for me.  I believe in the universe/God that is more powerful than we could ever imagine…allows bad things to happen to good people in order to lead them to him. I also believe that there are certain things throughout our lives we are not supposed to understand at this time.  I believe God has a plan for me and nothing happens by accident.  There are no coincidences.   I believe in true love for the rest of my life and passion never dying between two people.  I believe in somewhere over the rainbow and love found in a world of hatred.   I believe that if you really want something in life that you can trully make it happen. I believe that if I touch  just one person and make a difference in their life then my life has meaning.

To all of the women out there…Know what you deserve in life and don’ t compromise yourself and your beliefs for anyone.  Respect yourself.  Care for yourself.  When you are tired…listen to your body…when you are drained  take the time you need to recharge your batteries.  Don’t settle for the “he’ll do man” because of fear of being alone.  When you are spiritually challenged do the work and become empowered from what you just learned.  Know your weaknesses and work on strengthening them.  Concentrate on your strengths and discover how you should use your gifts and talents that God has given.  Take the time out for yourself in the quietness of the day.  Let go of pain and grudges that pull you down from being that wonderful person you are destined to become.   Surround yourself with genuinely good people…you become like the people you spend the most time with.  Discover the fulfillment your man has in your life and realize that he can’t fulfill you in every way.  Cherish your girlfriends that love you and believe in you.  Take time to do yoga and meditate. Make appointments for pampering like massage.   Listen to that quiet voice  inside of you that knows what you really deserve.  Most of all, know that at the end of the day when you lay your head down that you are true to yourself and the world around you.  Be a woman of character.  A woman that has no boundaries and breaks the mold.

There are a lot of beautiful, intelligent women out there wandering the earth with little or no sleep. The big question is how do you be a successful mom, wife, business executive, friend etc. on night after night of hardly any shuteye. My suggestions are as follows; all moms out there fake it till you make it. There is no nap today in the schedule and so we got to suck it up and make the best of it.

First, make sure you are hydrated and drink plenty of water. Take a daily vitamin to supplement the nutrition that your body needs to function.  Take time to excercise..a brisk walk, jog or even a twenty minute Jillian Michaels workout. If you don’t have a babysitter, include your children and make it fun.

Take a nice hot shower first thing in the morning. Take that time to rejuvenate…take some deep breaths and even meditate. Imagine yourself going through your day with patience, consideration and love for yourself…your children and the people around you. After your spa or shower, while your toddler is asking you to help her with this or that and your 4 month old is whining from the bouncy seat, make sure you dress for success. If you put new pj’s back on you are only going to wish you were still in bed. Brew a wonderful aromatic cup of coffee. Apply Mary Kay’s cucumber soothing eye gel under your tired eyes. I like to keep mine in the refrigerator to keep it cold and even more refreshing. Then get out of the house. Run errands…go on playdates etc.  There are a lot of inexpensive activities to do with your children.   When you are out of the house and busy you forget how tired you ever were at least until the afternoon.

When speaking to business associates, friends, the people you come in contact with do not complain and paint the sob story of your sleepless nights with your children…they really don’t care and the more dramatic you are the more tired you feel. These are just a few suggestions for the survival of motherhood.

At the end of the day…you must believe in yourself…believe that you did the best you could with the tools you were given today. Tomorrow is a brand new day to begin and the slate starts fresh again.

Remember your children are only this little for a very short time and this time is so precious.

Most importantly, this too will pass.